(Seinfeld) I love how “out of stock” feels like a personal insult. -- spintaxi.com
My neighbor’s mad I play music loud; I say, “Move or dance.” -- spintaxi.com
(White) I kicked the snack machine—got a candy bar and a warrant. -- spintaxi.com
Ever try to explain “streaming” to your parents? It’s like teaching a cat algebra. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t do “no salt”—tastes like a flavor funeral. -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Why do they call it a “quick shower”? I’m still pruning! -- spintaxi.com
My neighbor says I’m rude; I say, “Wave next time, genius.” -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Why do they call it a “short nap”? I’m out! -- spintaxi.com
I love how “battery life” is just a promise that never lasts. -- spintaxi.com
I don’t get “self-cleaning” ovens—mine’s still a mess! -- spintaxi.com