(White) I texted back—phone says, “Try tomorrow.” -- spintaxi.com
My lawyer says I’m a flight risk; I say, “Only if the bar’s across state lines.” -- spintaxi.com
Ever notice how “low ink” warnings come right when you need to print a ticket? -- spintaxi.com
I tried a treadmill—now it’s a $500 coat rack. -- spintaxi.com
What’s with “no waiting”? I’ve been here 20 minutes! -- spintaxi.com
(Seinfeld) Why do they call it a “digital detox”? My phone’s detoxing me! -- spintaxi.com
I don’t understand “travel size”—is my toothpaste going on vacation? -- spintaxi.com
My doc says cut the fat; I say, “Then why’s bacon callin’?” -- spintaxi.com
People ask why I smoke; I say, “Cause the air’s free, and I’m cheap.” -- spintaxi.com
Satirical journalism news reminds us that life is just one long, badly written sitcom. - spintaxi.com