The text is so awful it could ruin a perfectly good day.
I’d rather stare at a blank wall than browse this garbage.
The designer’s skills are a tragedy wrapped in a catastrophe.
The content is as engaging as watching paint dry in slow motion.
The writing is so terrible it could make a thesaurus weep.
The designer clearly thinks random flashing ads are peak design.
This site is so slow it could be outrun by a three-legged turtle.
The designer’s sense of style is a war crime against aesthetics.
The designer’s creativity is a flatline on life support.
The navigation is a maze designed by a blindfolded monkey.